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Some of the Best Ways to Tell your Partner you Have Herpes

Herpes is a sexually transmitted disease that has no known cure. This means that if you are infected with it, you would have to be responsible enough to let your partner know so that your partner will be protected from the disease as well. If your partner is also infected, then telling him or her might be necessary so that both of you can get the appropriate treatment. With this in mind, what are the best ways to tell your partner you have herpes? This task may be difficult but remember that both and your sexual partner’s health conditions are at stake and this is a matter that needs to be brought out in the open as soon as possible.

The best ways to tell your partner you have herpes will mainly depend on your current relationship status. For married couples, this can be an especially difficult discussion, even more so if herpes was caught outside of the marriage, as opposed to having the disease lay dormant and go undetected for years, which certainly does happen. As long as you keep an open line of communication, telling your partner about it will not be as difficult as difficult as it looks like.

The means by which you tell your partner about your condition, may not be as important as telling your partner with utter sincerity in your tone and actions. First and foremost, honesty needs to come into play. Whether you got the disease by cheating, or if you got it before the relationship, you need to be honest and let your partner know that you do have it. Being prepared to answer questions is extremely important, as your partner will have many. You should be well versed in what your partner can expect, if they do contract the disease, and let them know what sort of drugs, diets, etc, can help lessen an outbreak if they do contract it. Always let them know the risks that they may be taking having sex with you, especially unprotected sex, which is not recommended if one of the parters has herpes.

Always have this conversation in private. This isn’t something that you’ll want to take your date or boyfriend/girlfriend to dinner, and spring this up in front of a room full of people. I don’t especially like telling people over the phone or by email or text either. It’s best to have this conversation one on one, so your partner can see your sincerity and you can better judge and react to how they’re feeling as well.

What could be worse is if you let your fear of rejection get into you, and your partner ends up acquiring the disease as well just because you were afraid to tell him or her about it. That may lead to a more complicated situation compared to if you immediately told your partner about your condition in the first place.

Regardless of when or how you tell your partner about it, what’s important is that you do it with all honesty and with good intentions. Never have sex with someone without telling them you have herpes. Having sex with someone doesn’t mean that you will necessarily pass herpes, but allow your partner to take the risks and make that choice and not you making that decision for them.

Having “The Talk” About Genital Herpes

Genital herpes is a common sexually-transmitted disease that affects more people than anyone thinks. Close to 20% of the adult population, which is almost one out of every five adults, have herpes. Many of those infected do not even know they have the disease, and this is because they experience no symptoms, or have very mild ones that are easily overlooked or mistaken for a simple skin infection. Sadly, however, even dormant or asymptomatic (symptom-less) cases are very contagious, and so people with herpes need to be very careful to avoid infecting their sexual partners.

Given this, it can be difficult for an infected person to build and maintain an intimate relationship. It is necessary that he informs his sexual partner (or partner-to-be) of his disease and its highly communicable nature. With or without the presence of sores or an active outbreak, sexual contact can transmit genital herpes. It is possible to prevent infection by using condoms, but this method isn’t foolproof. Condom use does not give a hundred percent secure protection from genital herpes. Sometimes, especially during an outbreak, abstinence from sex is the only way to prevent transmission of the disease.

Having “the talk” involves letting the partner know about all this pertinent information. To reveal the fact that one has genital herpes is in itself a difficult, but necessary task. One must also be ready to disclose the clinical facts about the disease that the partner may ask about. Indeed, the other person needs to know these facts when they consider whether to continue the relationship or not.

After having “the talk,” there is a very real possibility that the other person may decide to end the relationship. Understandably, this can cause great emotional pain, especially if the infected person really cares for their partner. But one must realize that revealing their infection is the right thing to do, and sooner or later, the disease will be discovered by their partner. It is better that you volunteer the information now rather than when your partner learns about it when they has contracted the disease. If they decides to end the relationship now, after learning of you having genital herpes, it can mean that their affections do not run very deep, and the relationship is bound to fail anyway.

With these in mind, the infected person must realize that having “the talk” is really unavoidable and the right thing to do. Nonetheless, you will naturally feel anxious about it, and will need to prepare himself for the task. These useful tips will help you be prepared:

You should choose a comfortable place to have “the talk.” It should be a place where you feel at ease and not self-conscious or nervous. It can be at home or in a public place such as a park.

There should be ample time for the discussion. It should not be rushed, so that all the things you need to say can be said.

There shouldn’t be interruptions from the phone, from other people, or whatever distractions.

The talk should take place before any sexual contact. It is but appropriate to let the other person know that there is a risk of getting infected before actually having sex.

You should be calm and straightforward as you reveal the facts. Mentioning that herpes is very common and is benign or dormant most of the time will help make the news easier to take.

You should be ready to accept the other person’s decision to end the relationship, or to have some time to consider things before they see each other again.

Having “the talk” is not all bad. Going through it means that one wants a serious, mature, responsible and caring relationship. And should the other person decide to pursue the relationship despite the fact their partner has genital herpes, they can begin a relationship that is not all superficial or shallow, but something that is precious, real and enduring.

Herpes & Relationships: Can They Really Go Together?

Is it really possible to have a normal and honest relationship with someone, after discovering the presence of herpes in your system? Most people doubt this, but it is actually possible. To do this, the infected partner should be truthful to his or her partner and tell the truth. Knowing about the condition from the start avoids future serious confrontations that will eventually lead to distrust and the end of what could have been a loving relationship.

Herpes & Relationships: When To Tell Your Partner
Herpes is still incurable at this point, but it can be accepted by a partner as long as you inform him or her about your condition with the right timing. It is best to tell your partner about it when both of you have established a firm ground in your relationship, and that you are sure that both of you are fully committed to each other. You may want to delay sharing intimate moments with your partner until you tell him or her. However, try not to rush your decision. Wait until you are comfortable about it, and wait until you are sure that you are willing to take the risk. Get to know him or her first. A partner who will accept your situation is a proof of real understanding and respect. Both of you need to be honest with each other about it, and be knowledgeable about herpes, so that you can avoid transmitting the virus to your partner.

Herpes & Relationships: Practicing Safer Sex
Here are some ways for you and your partner to experience sexual intimacy without risking the spread of virus. Not all of them might be applicable to everybody, but choose the ones that are most comfortable for you and your partner.

1. Use your imagination and think of ways to be sexually intimate with each other without penetration. There are many ways to do this.?

2. The use of condoms for male or female use can help prevent the spread and transmission of virus.?

3. There are certain lubricants that can kill virus activity. Both of you can use this. However, some people tend to have inflammations due to allergic reactions that might increase the chance of transmission, so be careful about using this.

?4. Wash very thoroughly right after sexual interaction. Do this immediately every time there is sexual contact. Soap and water can kill the virus that is present on the skin’s surface. There are also soaps that are meant for vaginal use.?

5. Avoid skin contact especially when cuts, wounds, abrasions or any other similar conditions are present in the skin.?

6. Be consistent with your safe sex practices. Never slip up on your methods in preventing the transmission of the disease. One slip up can successfully get you infected for life.

Every relationship faces challenges that can even be more difficult than herpes. Just remember that a good relationship will remain strong no matter what the problem is, as long as there is communication, trust and understanding.

Alone Because of Herpes?

One of the most difficult situations in life that a person might encounter, especially if that person is still in a youthful age, is being alone while suffering from herpes. This is because of the fact that herpes is one of the most highly stigmatized sexually transmitted diseases. In this case, whenever a patient actually suffers from herpes, it is more probable that the patient is actually reluctant to seek medical attention, discuss it with close friends and relatives, or even to the family. In this case, it is much worse when the patient has transmitted this disease to his/her sexual partner, for it is more likely that the partner would actually blame the patient, leaving the patient alone. In this case, however, it is important to note that being alone while suffering from this disease does not help in any way. It may be true that the social stigma involved in this disease makes it shameful for the affected one to seek treatment and consult other people; however, it is also true that there are ways on how a patient can actually cope effectively with this disease, and be able to successfully share it with other people. Here than are some of the most effective ways for a patient to cope with having herpes:

Get to realize that one is not alone. Remember that herpes is actually a common disease, wherein majority of affected patients are just unaware that they actually have one. To be exact, every one in five people—approximately 20% of the nation’s population, do have herpes. In this case, it is best for a patient to condition himself emotionally, and remember that if other people have been able to successfully carry on their lives despite having herpes, then so can the patient. 20% of America may suffer from herpes, but not 20% of America leads miserable lives. Therefore, do not think that having herpes necessarily means that one needs to be alone and isolated.

Go to a trusted doctor for diagnosis. Remember that a lot of people who are suffering from herpes are unaware of their condition, leaving them surprised whenever symptoms have already appeared. In this case, being diagnosed early with the disease makes one more prepared in handling oneself physically, emotionally, and mentally. In addition, being diagnosed would erase doubts to whether one really has herpes or not, as well as being able to become more knowledgeable about the disease.

Be sure to talk to a medical professional and look into all available treatments. Remember that there are a variety of treatment techniques that can be done in able to cure this disease, and it is important for one to be able to be aware of these. This will help the affected patient see what is the most viable and convenient way of treatment that can be done. This will also help in conditioning the patient that this disease is treatable, so there is no need to worry about.

Refrain from looking for a person to blame for having herpes. Looking for blame does not help a patient to recover emotionally, and would only stall the healing process.

Herpes and Honesty: A Make or Break Situation for Couples

Being infected with herpes is not something that can be announced to the whole world. However, it is also something that you need to be ready to talk about especially if you are going out with someone. Herpes and honesty must go in hand in hand, especially if you want to make the relationship work. Remember that if you care for someone, you would not want anything bad to happen to that person and you would also have to muster enough courage to tell that person what he or she needs to know.

Most of the people who are not affected by this disease is unaware of other details and are only concerned about the fact that it is sexually transmitted. If you are starting to like someone, then you should start preparing for the big talk about herpes. You should be able to tell your partner how you got the disease and explain that you will just need enough time for proper treatment before you can take your relationship to a higher level. It’s better that way than to take the blame of transmitting the disease to your partner just because you were afraid to tell him or her about the truth.

Herpes and honesty can sometimes be too difficult to handle. If you think you will not be able to tell someone else about your condition, then it will be better to stop dating for the mean time. However, if you found out that you have herpes during such a time that you are already seeing someone, then you have two choices. You can either forget about the person, or you can be honest enough to tell him or her of your condition, and then let the person decide if the relationship should go on. Most of the time, being honest works out better compared to not telling your partner about your situation.

Not being able to tell your partner about your condition means you are also putting him or her at risk of getting the disease from you. If this happens, and if your partner finds out that he or she got the disease from you, there’s a greater chance that our relationship would end because you could have protected your partner just by simply being honest about your condition. Any relationship without trust is bound to end eventually.

There is really nothing wrong with herpes and honesty existing at the same time. You cannot do anything about having herpes aside from taking medications to prevent the worsening of your condition. And if your partner finds out and sees that you are just being honest about it because you care about him or her so much that you are willing to risk losing the relationship rather than getting him or her infected, then that may be enough to convince your partner to stay with you despite your situation. In the end, being honest about your condition may be the only way to save your relationship from falling apart.

Dating with Herpes and Finding Acceptance

Having herpes in itself can be quite a challenge, but finding a relationship where the partner is HSV free is another challenge into itself. The truth is, almost one in five Americans have HSV-2 and one in four have HSV-1. However, many people have closed their minds about herpes and immediately assume that infected people are dirty and unsafe. This is simply not true. One can still go about their normal daily activities, including dating and have a completely healthy sexual relationship with herpes. A lot of people with herpes think that it is the end of their involvement in the dating scene, but this is not true! There are many ways for you to continue dating even if you have herpes.

Specifically if you’ve been recently diagnosed and when you feel you’re ready to begin dating, it is important that you understand your own situation, first. Others may find it difficult to accept you and your situation if you don’t know anything about it yourself. So, it’s important to do some research about herpes and how it affects people, but more importantly how it affects you. Find out how it gets transmitted, and the ways to avoid infecting other people. Ask your doctor about certain herpes antiviral medication that can help lessen the outbreaks. You do not have to change your lifestyle completely once acquiring herpes, but having enough knowledge and caution will do you a lot of good.

Like any healthy relationship, honesty is a big part and it’s important that you’re honest with any potential relationships in your life. If positive, never have sex without telling someone that you have herpes. I believe it’s a moral obligation to do so. Countless people each year get herpes from partners that knowingly pass the virus. Always allow your parter to asset their own risk and comfort level to proceed, or not, with a sexual relationship.

If you ever find yourself dating other people and deciding to have a deeper relationship with them, you might want to think about the right time to tell your partner about it. If you’re dating with herpes, at a certain point, you have to take responsibility in informing your partner about your condition. The right time to tell your partner is simply when you’re comfortable with them to do so. Really, only you will know when that time is right, but never do it in the heat of the moment (minutes before sex). Give your partner an opportunity to weigh the possible risks. There are some who believe in telling others right up front, at the very beginning of a relationship, as to avoid feelings for each other, only to fear rejection later. Others, myself included, prefer to get to know someone before disclosing this personal information. The fact is, you might experience rejection or you might not, but that may also happen with or without herpes. 😉

Having herpes does not mean that you can never have sexual intimacy with a person again, quite contrary, but you must be responsible enough to have certain precautions during sexual intercourse. Dating with herpes requires extra care, and this means learning about safe sex techniques. Both you and your partner have to constantly use protection using male and/or female condoms. It is also a safe practice to avoid sexual contact if you are starting to notice symptoms of sores and outbreaks, to avoid infecting your partner. You also have to remember that oral sex can also be a way of transmitting the virus, so avoiding all sexual contact is best during outbreaks, to protect your partner from infection.

Having herpes shouldn’t hinder your dating life. By informing your partner, practicing safe sex and being aware of your own body and any potential symptoms, there’s no reason to herpes should get in your way of having a healthy relationship.

Dating With Herpes

Dating in general can be a problem for some people, but it is especially difficult for people with herpes. The fact that you have a contagious virus isn’t exactly first date conversation material, so you have to proceed with caution if you want to pursue a relationship when you have herpes. There are some things you can do to make your dating experience better, as well as improving the experience of your partner. Below are some suggestions to help you lead a normal dating life living with herpes.

It’s best to go through a few dates with a person before you figure out if he or she is even worth disclosing that you have herpes. There is no reason for you to start talking about your herpes if you aren’t going to see the person again in the future. Develop a system of trust before you spring that kind of news on your date. There are some people that like to just get it out of the way, and tell people right away, but I think it’s better to get to know someone first. How many dates have you gone on where it doesn’t lead to another? Probably a few. For that reason, it’s best to wait.

Assuming that you have been out with a person a few times and you think that you may want to have sex soon, you’re going to have to break the news to him or her. Not telling someone you have herpes before you have sex is one of the most irresponsible things to do. Allow your partner the choice whether to have sex with you knowing that you are positive. Pick a good time to talk to the person where there are no other distractions around. For obvious reasons, public places like restaurants, coffee shops, etc are probably not the best place to have this discussion. A private place is best.

Your partner can go through a wide range of reactions such as shock, curious, or totally accepting. If they have questions, it’s important that you’ve done your research on the virus so that you can explain exactly what this will mean to them. Sometimes YOU may be shocked to find out your partner also has herpes. I’ve heard many stories of that happening, so don’t entirely rule that out. Even if your partner doesn’t have herpes, it is not guaranteed that you will pass it on to him or her. If you do not have sex during or shortly after an outbreak, chances are you will never pass it on at all. Herpes is entirely treatable, so your partner really has nothing to fear. If he or she learns to accept the news, you can date and have intercourse just like you would normally, keeping the herpes in mind.

How to Tell Your Potential Partners You Have Herpes

One of the single most difficult things that a person with herpes can face in a relationship is “The Talk.” In fact, I personally know a few individuals that have genital herpes that almost avoid relationships altogether, because they don’t want to have to divulge it. Personally, I don’t think anyone needs to go to that extreme. If you have herpes, then you know that herpes is extremely contagious and when you’re in a relationship, it’s definitely something that needs to be addressed before things get intimate. I hear time and time again about how individuals caught herpes because their partners willingly never told them. I don’t believe there’s any excuse for that. Everyone deserves the choice whether or not to be intimate with someone that possesses herpes. It would not be fair for them if they didn’t know something that would affect their life if they caught it. Most people are scared of telling their partner because of how he or she will react. Here are a few simple guidelines that may help you get through “The Talk.”

First and foremost, you never want to tell someone that you have herpes when you’re already under the sheets. When you think your relationship is to the point where you might become sexually active, that’s a good time to start discussing it. Some people like to tell people right away, so they feel there’s nothing to hide going into the relationship. I believe potential partners should get to know you a bit, before you give out this personal information.

One of the keys is that you’ll want to make sure that you don’t frighten your potential partner when explaining to them that you have herpes. Make sure that you think of how they might respond so that you can best prepare yourself with the information that they might need. Being knowledge about about the virus is extremely helpful to answer any initial immediate questions they may have. Try to avoid telling them that you have a problem that you need to talk to them about as this might already set panic in on them. You need to be straight forward and honest with the person before considering sexual intercourse. They deserve that much from you with this kind of commitment.

You may start off with “There is something I need to tell you. A few years ago, I contracted herpes from my boyfriend/girlfriend,” etc. Calmly explain to them what herpes is and maybe telling them that one in five people suffer from this condition or that even as high as 80% of the HSV-1, oral herpes and may not even know it. You may also want to tell them about ways that you can avoid passing it and how you can both lead healthy, active sex lives without ever infecting your partner. However, mentioning that herpes is a disease might not be in your best interest when trying to keep the conversation calm. Most people tend to freak out when they hear the word disease. Mentioning that herpes is common might help ease some of their concerns and make swallowing this news a lot easier on them and you.

Find the perfect time to tell your partner this news. Don’t force the action on someone by calling them at work or walking into their home before a date and saying that you need to talk about something. Wait for the perfect time, like over a romantic dinner or something. Don’t become defensive when talking about your herpes as the other person will more than likely have questions concerning it. Even if you have herpes, it might still be in your best interest to politely ask if your potential partner has any sexually transmitted diseases as well. This might protect you from further discomfort. The news might be hard for your partner to deal with at first, but time should help heal this problem. You and your partner will grow from this and have a better relationship because of the honesty.