Tag Archives: Herpes Dating

Herpes & Dating: How To Get Back Into Dating

So, you find out that you have herpes. One of the biggest worries about people who are infected with herpes is the thought that they will never be able to date again. This is wrong. Dating can still be very well a normal part of your life. However, starting today, you must be very cautious some things when looking for people to date. Just remember that despite having herpes, nothing changed within you. Whatever personality you had before acquiring herpes will never go away, and people will still love you for those qualities. It is not entirely bad to have herpes & dating can still be done as long as you keep in mind the things that you will read here.

Herpes & Dating: When To Start The Topic
It is normal for people to feel awkward and uncomfortable to date after learning that they have herpes. To some, it might feel like hiding a nasty secret, and everyone knows that dating needs a certain level of honesty if you want it to continue to a closer kind of relationship. However, divulging information about certain things like herpes needs preparation time, not only for you, but for the person you are dating. Both of you needs to know each other first and have a certain kind of bond, before revealing information about your herpes.
There is no definite time on when to reveal that information, but don’t keep it a secret until after you have sex with each other. It is also a bad time to reveal your situation when you are about to have sex, because the level of attraction at that moment might be too high, and it can cause both of you to make decisions that you will regret in the future. Until you tell him, stay on the safe side. Don’t risk too much skin contact. If you have genital herpes, kissing and fondling should be the threshold.

Herpes & Dating: Dealing With Rejection
At one point, you would have to deal being rejected after revealing that you have herpes. It will hurt at first, but remember: if a person rejects you because of a condition that you have, then he or she would probably be unwilling to take your relationship up to the next level. Dating a person can bring out the best and worst in a person: It’s either the person will reject you or the person will accept you no matter what condition you are in, and obviously, you would want to look for the latter person. If the person immediately rejects you after learning about your condition, then that person is probably already trying to find a way out, and is only using herpes as an excuse to run and disappear. It might be difficult, but eventually, you will find someone who will accept you for who you are. These kinds of people are the ones who prioritize love and care over certain levels of intimacy. Just keep trying, and you will find that person.

Dating with Herpes and Finding Acceptance

Having herpes in itself can be quite a challenge, but finding a relationship where the partner is HSV free is another challenge into itself. The truth is, almost one in five Americans have HSV-2 and one in four have HSV-1. However, many people have closed their minds about herpes and immediately assume that infected people are dirty and unsafe. This is simply not true. One can still go about their normal daily activities, including dating and have a completely healthy sexual relationship with herpes. A lot of people with herpes think that it is the end of their involvement in the dating scene, but this is not true! There are many ways for you to continue dating even if you have herpes.

Specifically if you’ve been recently diagnosed and when you feel you’re ready to begin dating, it is important that you understand your own situation, first. Others may find it difficult to accept you and your situation if you don’t know anything about it yourself. So, it’s important to do some research about herpes and how it affects people, but more importantly how it affects you. Find out how it gets transmitted, and the ways to avoid infecting other people. Ask your doctor about certain herpes antiviral medication that can help lessen the outbreaks. You do not have to change your lifestyle completely once acquiring herpes, but having enough knowledge and caution will do you a lot of good.

Like any healthy relationship, honesty is a big part and it’s important that you’re honest with any potential relationships in your life. If positive, never have sex without telling someone that you have herpes. I believe it’s a moral obligation to do so. Countless people each year get herpes from partners that knowingly pass the virus. Always allow your parter to asset their own risk and comfort level to proceed, or not, with a sexual relationship.

If you ever find yourself dating other people and deciding to have a deeper relationship with them, you might want to think about the right time to tell your partner about it. If you’re dating with herpes, at a certain point, you have to take responsibility in informing your partner about your condition. The right time to tell your partner is simply when you’re comfortable with them to do so. Really, only you will know when that time is right, but never do it in the heat of the moment (minutes before sex). Give your partner an opportunity to weigh the possible risks. There are some who believe in telling others right up front, at the very beginning of a relationship, as to avoid feelings for each other, only to fear rejection later. Others, myself included, prefer to get to know someone before disclosing this personal information. The fact is, you might experience rejection or you might not, but that may also happen with or without herpes. 😉

Having herpes does not mean that you can never have sexual intimacy with a person again, quite contrary, but you must be responsible enough to have certain precautions during sexual intercourse. Dating with herpes requires extra care, and this means learning about safe sex techniques. Both you and your partner have to constantly use protection using male and/or female condoms. It is also a safe practice to avoid sexual contact if you are starting to notice symptoms of sores and outbreaks, to avoid infecting your partner. You also have to remember that oral sex can also be a way of transmitting the virus, so avoiding all sexual contact is best during outbreaks, to protect your partner from infection.

Having herpes shouldn’t hinder your dating life. By informing your partner, practicing safe sex and being aware of your own body and any potential symptoms, there’s no reason to herpes should get in your way of having a healthy relationship.

Dating With Herpes

Dating in general can be a problem for some people, but it is especially difficult for people with herpes. The fact that you have a contagious virus isn’t exactly first date conversation material, so you have to proceed with caution if you want to pursue a relationship when you have herpes. There are some things you can do to make your dating experience better, as well as improving the experience of your partner. Below are some suggestions to help you lead a normal dating life living with herpes.

It’s best to go through a few dates with a person before you figure out if he or she is even worth disclosing that you have herpes. There is no reason for you to start talking about your herpes if you aren’t going to see the person again in the future. Develop a system of trust before you spring that kind of news on your date. There are some people that like to just get it out of the way, and tell people right away, but I think it’s better to get to know someone first. How many dates have you gone on where it doesn’t lead to another? Probably a few. For that reason, it’s best to wait.

Assuming that you have been out with a person a few times and you think that you may want to have sex soon, you’re going to have to break the news to him or her. Not telling someone you have herpes before you have sex is one of the most irresponsible things to do. Allow your partner the choice whether to have sex with you knowing that you are positive. Pick a good time to talk to the person where there are no other distractions around. For obvious reasons, public places like restaurants, coffee shops, etc are probably not the best place to have this discussion. A private place is best.

Your partner can go through a wide range of reactions such as shock, curious, or totally accepting. If they have questions, it’s important that you’ve done your research on the virus so that you can explain exactly what this will mean to them. Sometimes YOU may be shocked to find out your partner also has herpes. I’ve heard many stories of that happening, so don’t entirely rule that out. Even if your partner doesn’t have herpes, it is not guaranteed that you will pass it on to him or her. If you do not have sex during or shortly after an outbreak, chances are you will never pass it on at all. Herpes is entirely treatable, so your partner really has nothing to fear. If he or she learns to accept the news, you can date and have intercourse just like you would normally, keeping the herpes in mind.